perhaps it's

another awkward poem.

perhaps it’s just
that I’m a dreamer;
that sometimes
I see things that are not there,
hope for things that have no
starting place
to start hoping from.

but this seems
too incandescent for me;
I don’t know what
lenses
my own personality and
my heart
tend to put into place
but the brightness of my hopes
seems to burn me.

simple things cut me deep;
the sound of a voice and the words it would speak –
a smile that I could make appear,
it beckons unforgivingly to me,
this idea;
that perhaps my pursuit could be sweet to who I seek;

that it could be part of what makes her eyes shine brightly.

i approach God again;
for in the end it is
He that yet allows the ache to flourish;
and it is the only place I can find
a helping hand in this tightly personal regard;
power and love, enough.

My prayers
are simple enough;
to find the strength
to chase what the heart hurts for -
or wise enough to let go
of what is sought
if it is not meant to be.

but at the end of the day
it is not itself that the heart desires to see happy –
although it seems more a matter of life and death than simplified feeling.
a man lives to take wounds,
our lot in life.
rather, what is
truly unacceptable
is to have to watch her eyes shine less than brightly.

.